How to Get Over Upsetting News

By Uloop Archives on April 21, 2016

source via flickr

Mental health is extremely important, especially during college when you’re trying to find yourself, do well in classes, and create new relationships. Unfortunately, there will always be a time during your college years where you receive some upsetting news. While the subject might have to do with a romantic partner, a friend, or even a family member, no one can please everyone 100% of the time. Coming up with a way to healthily feel, process, and accept the news will help put yourself in a good place mentally.

When first hearing the upsetting news, you may not know how to respond at first. Or an emotions just spring up and you feel like you’re getting out of control and can’t process the news without having a freak out. Anyway you initially respond, as long as it isn’t destructive or hurtful to yourself or others, is okay! It’s okay if you need to cry it out because you found out your friend said some hurtful things. It’s okay if you need to just take some time to be alone and think about it in a quiet place. Just feeling, whatever the feeling may be, is an important step in trying to become at peace with the upsetting news. Your feelings are valid and it’s important to not shut them down initially.

source via flickr

After taking the time to feel the emotions thoroughly and cool down a little from the initial reaction, it’s time to try and process the news. Once the emotions have cooled a bit, you can reflect on what you found out and try and view it from a more controlled, rational manner. Ways to process in a healthy manner is to journal. Journaling your feelings can help clarify what exactly was upsetting you when you first heard the news and also help clarify the most upsetting parts. It can be easy to be distracted initially by overwhelming feelings, so during the processing stage it’s good to try and rationally figure out what is bothering you. Why did the news affect you so much? Why do you think you felt the emotions you did? What can be done to try and make you feel better about the situation? Asking questions like this is a starting point to figuring out what you need to process and eventually accept what has happened and what can be done.

The process stage can be very hard to move past. Even if you let yourself feel the initial emotions, and try to process what happened, depending on the news and your own personality, moving on and getting over it may prove to be difficult. You might want to take up journaling as something you do every day to track your progress and just have an outlet to get all your feelings out in a healthy manner. You can set personal goals for yourself and check back and see if you accomplished them. Journaling is a strong tool to learning more about yourself, how you operate, and what works for you in regards to processing high-emotion situations.

Acceptance takes time and is different for everyone. Just because your friend is able to get over something sad in two days doesn’t mean that you taking a longer time is wrong! Everyone is different and that’s okay— you just need to focus on what works for you. At some point, the news will start to hurt less. You won’t be as bothered by it anymore. Eventually, you’ll stop even wondering or thinking about it. If something does remind you about it, it won’t upset you like it once did. Time can play a huge factor in this— the longer ago the news was and the longer you’ve had to process and move on can aid in getting over it.

While everyone’s mileage may vary and some people might not need help on how to cope with upsetting news, it can help to know that you’re not alone. Shitty stuff can happen to anyone and knowing ways to deal with it in a healthy manner can save you even more grief in the long run. Ignoring your feelings and trying to shy away from the problem can just build it up and cause more problems down the long run.

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